Staying On Track

One of the best parts about being a marriage educator is having the opportunity to meet a ton of couples in great, healthy relationships! Many people think they have to be in marital distress before they engage or invest in some of our tools, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth!
Now, while we do offer marriage restoration for people who have hit a particular rough spot, we continue to focus on adding strength to every marriage and providing some practical tools to help you get the most out of your most important relationship!

A great place to start, whether you are interested in learning more about keeping a healthy marriage, or making sure your current relationship is on the right track, is to to do some research online. Maybe that is how you found us! Check out these websites to find articles, practical and interesting research, event listings, blogs, email list serves, live chats, dating and marriage advice and more!

www.smartmarriages.com
www.twoofus.org
www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/

Another great way to improve your marriage and stay connected right here in Jackson is to join us at one of our upcoming LINKS events. Unfortunately, our January 14-15 overnight retreat has just filled, but we still have room at our four week series beginning Thursday, January 28. Why not take your spouse on a weekly date for one month…you’ll get a nice dinner, good conversations and laughs all while learning ways to keep your marriage happy. Check out our website calendar for more information about this series: http://www.marriagemattersjackson.com/event_list.php.

When we marry, we promise to stay together till death us do part – but, we don’t promise to stay the same! That would be deadly dull. We need skills and confidence to welcome, integrate, and negotiate change along the way.

Here’s to a NEW year full of renewed interest and commitment to your special one.

Happy Holidays!

Let’s Be Honest

The last thing we want to do at Marriage Matters Jackson is portray a false image of marriage needing to be perfect. While we strongly believe that we have the tools and resources to help most marriages become healthier, we also realize the importance of being honest about the hardships. Sometimes it just helps to know you aren’t alone.

Check out the recent interview with the First Lady and her husband in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/01/magazine/01Obama-t.html?_r=2&src=tptw&pagewanted=all

While the Obama’s work to be honest about their marriage, I’m wondering the same about all of us. Is there a trend today in discussions about marriage? Do you think people tend to hide their worst struggles? If you knew there were other couples going through the same kind of conflicts, would that help?

The good news is..there is a place to share some of these thoughts. Not only this Blog…but our Date Night events. Stay tuned…new classes and events will be starting soon!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/216915

Marriage As A Health Issue?

With all the talk of healthcare, it might surprise you that marriage actually plays a role in this great debate. In case you missed my latest article in the Jackson Magazine (http://www.jacksonmagazine.com/),
you’ll find it under the “healthcare” heading. So, what’s so healthy about marriage? Actually, married men and women are less depressed, less anxious, less likely to suffer from heart disease and high blood pressure. Do you believe it? While studies back this up, I’m more interested in some of your experiences? Do you think you or your spouse are healthier than you would be if you were alone? Do you think divorce can actually cause health problems?

SPICE It Up!

Research keeps showing that successful couples have the same number of disagreements as couples who divorce. And, that those of us who are married and in relationships tend to disagree about the same basic issues -money, kids, sex, housework, in-laws, and time. The difference between successful and unsuccessful couples is how they handle these differences.

Where have you and your spouse learned to handle those key issues? What kind of advise do you get? Who do you get your advice
from? A lot of times many of the couples I know turn to their friends…to those couples going through the same kinds of conflicts and at roughly the same time. Does this work? Does this make matters worse?

So…how do we learn to disagree in a way that makes our relationships stronger? And better yet…how do we disagree in a way that makes us still want to “get it on” at the end of the day with our partner?

Introducing…”SPICE!” Mark your calendar (or try buying tickets as an early Christmas gift for friends or family) for a great date night that could change your relationship for the better – and for good! Save Saturday, November 7th for another Date Your Mate event to be held at the Michigan Theatre here in Jackson.

Living Together: Smart Start, or Recipe for Disaster?

Divorce rates have dropped in Jackson County, but so have marriage rates. A lot of couples are choosing to live together rather than get married. But would you believe that these cohabitations are nearly twice as likely to end in break up X after ten years, as marriages. This is according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (33% marriages, 62% for cohabitation). What do you think are the reasons for this: Fear of commitment…memories of a parent’s messy divorce…financial strain?

Marriage can be difficult and does take work, as Scott Kudwa recently learned. He desperately turned to Marriage Matters Jackson one week after his wife Liz filed for a divorce. They had been married for seven years and he first came to Marriage Matters Jackson workshops by himself to try to salvage their broken relationship.

Soon, Scott convinced Liz to come with him to the workshops. They tackled issues in their relationship and realized they would have to make time for each other ON PURPOSE. They gained the tools they needed to keep up with the daily maintenance of marriage. But even though they have worked through issues to save their marriage, they call themselves a success story hesitantly because they understand that marriage is a work in progress.

It’s easy to run into common roadblocks like money, sex, and family, and then panic. Divorce starts to seem easier than handling all those problems. The truth is that ALL couples deal with these issues. When it comes to matters of marriage—it’s not as important WHAT you are struggling with, but HOW you deal with it together. Working through marriage roadblocks together in a healthy way, brings you closer together in the long run.

Click HERE to read more about divorce in Jackson County and about Scott and Liz in the Jackson Patriot.

Another Great Event

First of all, I want to extend a big THANK YOU to everyone who attended our Kissin’ in the Kitchen- Grillin’ Edition event last Friday night. We had a TON of fun at the Armory Arts Village. So many people commented that this was the first time they had been inside this re-purposed cool space in Jackson. We had rave reviews about the food on the menu. I inhaled a few bites before I went on stage! Adrien Sharp shared some fun insider secrets about the stars of the Food Network. We have had many requests for Adrien’s recipe’s that he demonstrated– we will make them available to you soon!

We appreciate all the fantastic artists who showed us such great hospitality! People who normally wouldn’t be painting a mural with their spouse on the ordinary Friday night said how much fun they had doing something new together. Hopefully some of you are inspired to take art lessons together at Armory Arts!

Also we had several couples inquire about our marriage enrichment workshops like LINKS and All About Us coming up this fall! Check out the website for dates, time and cost. Some couples have mentioned they don’t need workshops because their marriage is doing fine. GREAT! We’re talking to YOU! These workshops are for healthy marriages and couples that want to go from good to great or ok to outstanding. Don’t wait until there is a problem to do things to strengthen your relationship. A little regular maintenence saves you from a HUGE repair!

Our next big Date-Your-Mate event is November 7th and it’s a Healthy Marriage Check up and it will be a LOT of fun. Enjoy chillin’ and grillin’ with your mate–
I would love to hear from all of you about how you keep things spicy in the kitchen! Please blog back with your ideas!

Date Your Mate

One of the things I like best about my work with Marriage Matters Jackson is planning unique events and activities that help couples get out and have some fun! As part of our popular Date-Your-Mate, Kissin’ in the Kitchen series, we have reserved the Armory Arts Village Friday, August 7 for a fun night featuring JTV’s Home for Dinner host, Adrien Sharp and yours truly, with the magical marriage tips!

Taste some of his best recipes, tips for summer grilling and I will be there mixing in the marriage tips that go down easy when you’re eating and laughing. If you’ve been to one of our Kissin’ In The Kitchen events before I’m sure you won’t want to miss this one. If you have never attended a Marriage Matters Jackson event you can finally experience for yourself what everyone is talking about!

The cost is only $30 per couple! We keep the cost affordable for all couples through our grant from the Weatherwax Foundation. The evening includes a variety of tasty foods perfect for some summer fun with your sweetheart!

The Armory Arts Village has been recently renovated and is used now as an artist’s community with a really cool creative space. The resident artists will open their studios and give demonstrations of their artwork that night as well.,

I get the question a lot– is this only for people with trouble in your marriage? My answer a resounding- HECK NO!! Our events and workshops are designed for couples at any age or stage of marriage. Whether things are rock solid right now in your relationship or a little rocky– everyone can use a no-pressure fun date with their mate. We do all the work– all you have to do is come relax and enjoy each other.

Join us Friday, August 7 at 6pm for a great Date Your Mate event! Tickets are on sale now by calling our offices at 796-5116.

Joining the National Marriage Education Movement

As part of its ongoing investigation into some of the most challenging issues facing African-Americans, CNN continues its series, “Black in America 2.” The segments feature people who are using ground-breaking solutions to transform the black experience in America… and last night was all about marriage! No wonder we were tuned in!

Last night’s segment featured Washington D.C. based marriage education expert, Nisa Muhyammad. Nisa is the Executive Director of the Wedded Bliss Foundation, which, like Marriage Matters Jackson, is a community based organization working to promote, prepare and preserve healthy marriages. Not only am I glad that national news organizations are covering this kind of critical work, but I feel Jackson County is fortunate to have an organization that offers this same type of marriage education. I am eager to continue our involvement in this national movement and I look forward to your feedback about the kind of work being done nationally and especially right here in Jackson.

Rock Solid or Rocky? – Marriage Restoration – NEW Mini-Workshop

By marriagemattersjackson

While most of our events and resources help take your relationship from good to great – keeping marriage fresh and fun, we realize some couples need a little more assitance getting to a healthy place in their marriage. In response to recent requests to help couples in crisis- financial, emotional, or otherwise, Marriage Matters Jackson will begin offering weekly “mini-workshops” FREE of charge to the public. Held every Monday night, these workshops will offer a different marriage topic each week. You can jump in any week and the first one starts next Monday, June 22nd!

The weekly program will provide skills for couples looking for some extra help to keep their marriage on track and help prevent the disappointment of a mediocre marriage, or the dangers of divorce. Come and listen or participate at your comfort level. No one needs to feel anxious that they will feel “called on” or embarassed. We pride ourselves at Marriage Matters Jackson in offering marriage strengthening resources that build couples up and not tear them down.

Most of us are just one crisis away from marriage trouble. Don’t be embarassed that your rock-solid marriage may have hit some rocky ground. Do something now to move things back in the direction of rock-solid.

The weekly mini workshops will be held at the United Way Center from 6-8pm every Monday. Check out our events listings page at http://www.marriagemattersjackson.com/event_list.php for more information!

Money in Marriage

Something unusual happened to a friend of mine. She got married and soon afterward, she and her husband inherited a very large sum of money. Immediately thoughts of a luxurious vacation home in Bora Bora came to mind. After the initial daydreaming, and now a few years down the road, I decided to ask her how that had affected her marriage. The optimist in me expected her to say that problems cleared up, but a skeptical part of me thought that new problems would arise. What she said sort of shocked me because it fell outside both my expectations. While she and her husband have had many conversations about money management, she said that they actually run into the same kinds of conflicts now that they have inherited their money as they did before.

Is money a source of conflict or enjoyment in your marriage? Does the amount of money you have matter for your relationship? Would a vacation home in Bora Bora make things better?