Power of a woman’s words

 “I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.”  – Charles Schwab

Your words can break your man, or make your man. 

I just finished reading “The Power of a Woman’s Words” (great read that I highly recommend).   And let me be the first to admit that the words I speak to my husband are not always sweet, nice and lovey dovey.  Remember, I’ve only been married a little over 2 years, and I have a lot to learn.  I’m actually still trying to figure out the fine line between motivation and nagging.  But when it comes to marriage, words are inevitable.  And arguing is bound to happen.  In fact, an article from SmartMarriages.com said:

“All happily married couples have approximately 10 irreconcilable differences – 10 issues they will never resolve.” 

That’s right, you are not alone.  However, it is important to keep talking about how to manage these issues.  So here are some techniques I’ve personally tested that I thought might inspire my fellow women to never underestimate the power of your words.  (note: These techniques are from a compilation of marriage articles and books I’ve read, nothing I made up.) 

  • Technique #1 No matter how angry you are, try not to raise your voice.  Yell nicely.  He is going to raise his voice, but the calmer you seem to stay, the calmer he’ll stay and the less name calling occurs.  Plus, this one will completely throw him for a loop.
  • Technique #2 (I’m the biggest offender of this one) When he does something that makes you mad in front of friends, the kids, or in public, let it go.  Easier said than done, I know.  But DO NOT scold, mock, or yell at your husband in front of anyone.  To a man that is the biggest blow to the ego, and whoever is listening or watching will have less respect for him (and you).
  • Technique #3 Respect him with your words.  TELL HIM.  Ladies, this does not mean you are weak.  Tell him you appreciate all he does and that you respect him as a man.  This is actually a huge sign of strength in a woman and it will go a long way.
  • Tecnique #4 Never talk to your coworkers or your family (or his) about your fights.  You will forgive him way faster than they will. 
  • Technique #5 If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  The difference between a good marriage and a great marriage is leaving about 3-4 things unsaid every day.  

The holiday season is known for stress and arguments, so it’s the perfect time to put these techniques into action.  I once heard that the woman is the thermostat of the household.  Women, that means whatever our attitude is at any given moment, whether we’re hot or cold, our husband, kids and dog follow suit. Just remember, your words mean everything.  And even though it’s cold outside, make sure the attitude thermostat of your household is warm!  Good luck, and Merry Christmas from the staff at MMJ! <fist pump>