Wake Up Call

Men are not good multi-taskers; and my husband is absolutely no exception. He is terrible at directions (not to mention if he’s trying to drive and use the windshield wipers at the same time.) If he’s on his phone, in his office, or watching any sort of sporting activity; whether its football, baseball, water polo, or cricket, he’s not listening to a word I say. I’ve figured out that these are not the best times to bombard him with difficult questions. Or any questions, really. It actually makes him angry, that I’d dare to ask about paint colors and swatches during triple overtime.

In John Eldridge’s book, Wild at Heart, he encourages wives to give their husbands at least 20 minutes of downtime when he comes home from work.  At this time a man’s mind is usually racing with thoughts of the day and takes awhile to unwind.  One nagging comment from the wife could push him over the edge.

It’s hard for a woman to know when the best time is to get a hold of her husband’s brain. Naturally, I decided that the perfect time to talk to Brandon about important things is while he’s sleeping. I mean, not in a slumber, just as he’s waking up. (I have the pleasure of waking my husband every morning, because a standard alarm clock is not persistent enough). This is the average morning dialogue at the Marken house:

“Brandon, wake up.”
“ <grunt> 5 more minutes.”
5 minutes later, “Brandon, WAKE UP.”
“Alright, k, I’m up.” He doesn’t move.
“Hey, can you <insert errand/chore> today?”
“K, seriously, get up. You’re gonna be late.”

Neuropsychologist Ruben Gur of the University of Pennsylvania used brain scans to show that when a man’s brain is in a resting state, at least 70 percent of his brain is shut down (vs. 10% for women). http://tiny.cc/8obe4  So women, that means we get 30% of his brain all to ourselves. His resting brain is our only chance. Now, Brandon usually doesn’t end up following through on the task I ask him to do after he’s been “awake” for 2.2 seconds. However, I got him to say “yes” so I can use it as a defense later. If you’re having trouble getting your man’s full attention, you might seriously consider this tactic.

Oh and one more thing that doesn’t pertain to this blog at all, happy birthday to our wonderful event manager, Liza! <fist pump>