Knock it off

I’ve had it! I’ve had it with this toxic destructive intruder that is forcing its way into too many marriages and families.

It’s time to fight back. Let’s declare war on the thing plaguing far too many families—selfishness.

Think about it, pretty much every bad circumstance you can thing of ties back to selfishness at its core. Divorce, affairs, substance abuse, financial ruin…all stem back to one or both people in a relationship looking out for themselves first. Seeking their own comfort and happiness above all else- it doesn’t take a genius to see that isn’t going to work long term.

So what do I do for the woman calls in tears because her husband has lost interest in her and their marriage? He is checking out of their family for the lure of work friends and lots of drinking. His wife just isn’t fun enough anymore. Selfishness.

What is she supposed to do? He is on a runaway train toward self indulgence and destruction and she is horrified to watch her family be dragged along for the ride. 

How about the husband standing in our office close to tears asking what he can do to keep his wife from walking away? He is desperate for a book to borrow or advice to take that will help his wife see the grass is not really greener on the other side. Selfishness strikes again.

Here is the honest truth- marriage isn’t easy, life isn’t always pretty, our spouse WILL let us down from time to time along the way.  This is normal. The problem lies in the welcoming and accepting selfishness into our families.  Looking out for our own needs and desires at the sacrifice of those people we vowed to love and protect until death do we part.  Focusing on getting an “equal” return will actually get you less of what you want over time.

It’s easy to see in other people, but where is selfishness finding a foothold in our lives and marriages?  Selfishness is sneaky, it can appear righteous and fair but the destruction and a marriage and family can be tough to repair.

So if you’re being selfish- KNOCK IT OFF!   And if you are married to someone selfish, hold on and try to show them their selfishness won’t win. Do the finger snap and say out loud, “NOT IN MY HOUSE!”