5 reasons you should “unfriend” your ex

We’ve all been there. You start looking at an old high school friend’s wedding pictures, and you somehow end up on your ex’s profile page, fully guilty of Facebook stalking. Many people may think this activity is harmless, but most marriage experts would disagree. Too much data has started accusing Facebook of ruining marriages. Most experts would also agree that much could be avoided if folks would just give up on their past flames on Facebook. Right now you may be thinking, “Facebook? Really?” But get this…

More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word “Facebook,” and over 80% of divorce attorneys in the U.S. say they’ve seen a rise in the number of cases citing social networking. [Source]

Relationship experts Jason and Kelli Krafsky, who wrote a book called “Facebook and your Marriage” (You can check it out at the MMJ library.) say, “Affairs happen with a lightning speed on Facebook. All it takes is a few clicks. The difference with Facebook is it feels safe, innocent and private. Facebook is different from most social networks or dating sites in that it re-connects old flames. Facebook puts tempation in the path of people who would never in a million years risk having an affair.”

So here are 5 reasons I think you should “unfriend” your ex on Facebook:

  1. Facebook isn’t reality. He/She looks good in their pictures, posting about fun vacations and crazy parties with friends, the good job, and the super cute dog. And subconsciously you might start thinking, “Why did I ever break up with them in the first place?” Keep in mind that everyone looks better on Facebook. In reality, the grass is never greener on the other side.
  2. Future temptation. You never know, several years down the road you may find yourself at a bad spot in your marriage, and you just can’t help but wonder if your ex would treat you the same way. And at that weak moment, through Facebook, you have instant access to check up on them. If you take the temptation away in the first place, you will never be tempted to connect. Also, you’re helping your ex out by taking away their temptation to connect with you as well.
  3. They probably won’t care. Chances are pretty high that your ex won’t even notice or care that you’ve unfriended them. If you broke up with them a while ago, and you are currently in a happy, healthy relationship then it should not even be an issue.
  4. Stop blast-from-the-past train of thoughts. Our minds are powerful tools. The moment your ex pops up on your mini-feed, you can’t help but think back to the “good ol’ days” and remember a good time or a fun memory. The subconscious mind holds on to that, and this does not help your thinking, especially towards your spouse and your marriage. Additionally, you don’t see your ex on Facebook and think about who they are now, you think about who they used to be, when you were together, and things were good, and it’s a dangerous dead end of subconscious self-destruction.
  5. Probably the best reason of all is that there is absolutely no benefit. Ask the question this way, “Why should I be friends with my ex on facebook?” And if you’re being honest with yourself, you’re probably going to have a hard time coming up with a very viable answer. There is absolutely no benefit to you being friends with your ex. It does not benefit your marriage in any way.

So hit the unfriend button… and get this one out of the way right now.