Grace in Place

HIStory is a series of submissions from the husbands of The Five Wives, in an attempt to share their side of the story, bringing a much-needed male perspective to this blog. This guest post is by Shelby’s husband, Drew.

It seems like everything we do in life is judged.  We get graded for years in school, then go off and find a job that usually is performance based.  We compete with friends to have the latest and greatest house, gadgets, electronics, etc.  We may even get caught up in using our kids as bragging chips, always trying to look better than the people to our right and left.  If we aren’t careful, this carries over in to our marriage.  For many years I fell victim to this type of thinking when it came to my wife, and it interfered with how I loved her.  I’m certain it also interfered with how she felt loved.  I’m thankful that I was recently introduced to the book Families Where Grace is in Place.  I realized that my love for my wife isn’t something that needs to be appraisal based.  Thankfully, her love for me was never that way.  I’m embarrassed to think of what would have happened if I was loved based only on my successes or failures as a husband.  Choosing to love a person for who she is, and realizing the blessing she has been in my life has nothing to do with how clean a house is.  The way a husband loves a wife shouldn’t fluctuate based on accomplishments of the day.  Instead it should grow stronger each day.  Is grace in place in your marriage? Are you cutting each other slack and showing unconditional love?