Over the years, the arguing is less intense and we both are deliberately more respectful of each other during the fights—yet we haven’t reached a solution. And honestly? I’m not sure we will. We both are hard-wired to be who we are and that is probably the source of the issue.
After our last go-round of heated discussion, I called him on my way to work to apologize for agitating him. I said that he was more important to me than _______ (insert YOUR ‘Marriage Fire’) and then I stopped—I didn’t start a new sentence starting with “But…”. Why? Because I had read this.
It was SO HARD not to say that next “But” sentence! My point felt SO IMPORTANT!
I honestly feel like we made significant progress with our stumbling block. It’s not fixed. Nor do I see it being fixed anytime soon. But when we got home from work that night, we had a very civilized conversation about the issue and a few days later, he approached me with an idea that could help.
And that felt better, I imagine, than saying my “But” sentence would have felt.