The Hostess of the Leastess

The old saying, “opposites attract” applies to several areas in my marriage, including hosting parties. I am naturally an introvert, and my husband Brandon is an extrovert. He finds social engagements relaxing, and I often find them emotionally draining. Brandon loves to invite people over (or to live with us), expecting me to be equally excited, only to be upset when I react negatively.  I love planning an evening at home, just the two of us, only to be disappointed when he prefers we hang out with friends.

This Halloween, was no exception. We had planned to have Brandon’s family over for dinner, but our party of 6 turned into a party of 25 when (at the last minute) Brandon thought it would be fun to invite his cousin, and my sister, and her roommates, and his aunt and uncles, and our neighbors….

Naturally this left my introverted self in a tizzy, frantically running through Meijer buying extra chips and dip. I was about to freak out on the lady grabbing the last bag of Snickers in the candy aisle when Brandon called. And not only did he apologize that the party had gotten a little out of hand, but he had also lined up friends to bring a dish to pass, and was willing to help with housework.

Surprisingly, his taking responsibility and legitimizing the fact that I was feeling stressed, calmed me down quite a bit. Enough for me to re frame and realize this was nothing to be upset about. And I actually did really enjoy the party.

Have you and your spouse run into issues where you are complete opposites? What have you done to help compromise with each other?