Note To Self
When I think about stages of life like middle school, high school, and college, there are some that you would never want to re-visit, while others it seems, wouldn’t be so bad to stop back through and experience for a little bit. First day of middle school- no thanks. Exams over and heading out with your friends for a long weekend during college- sign me up please.
I started thinking about the different stages of marriage that we all go through, all good and the bad that we experience with each chapter. Then I wondered about the old question, “If I could go back in time, what would I tell myself?” Well I’ve decided current self (married 16 years, 3 kids ages 13, 11, and 6) would tell Newlywed Self, “Go have adventures together as a couple! Home and family is the greatest but don’t be afraid to shake things up- you can always come back home when it’s time to settle down with your own family!” Oh, and if you make any, “SAVE money!!!”
I would tell New Parent Self, “It really DOES fly by. These sleepless nights and lack of date nights won’t last forever. Make sure you enjoy these little lives you and Drew have been given to raise. Make lots of memories with the kids for you and Drew to reflect on when you’re old and tired from all the fun!” Oh and the little you do make, “SAVE money!”
So then I have to think about what Future Self might tell Current Self. This one is tough but exciting because I can actually follow the advice if it’s any good! My guess is she would say, “Aren’t you glad you and Drew stuck it out through those rough spots? Isn’t it cool how much closer you guys got through all those trials and triumphs together? His salt and pepper hair will only make him more adorable over time.” I’m thinking she might also say, “You’ll never wish you worked more hours or did more work on your electronic devices. But you will wish you could go back and play in the yard with the kids while they are home. You’ll want to snuggle with Drew on the couch and pretend to be interested in whatever sport is on the TV just so you can smell his cologne and hold his hand.”
I think I’m going to take my own advice and try to be in the moment more with my husband and with the kids. Sometimes I think current self is so preoccupied with keeping up with the pace of life that she forgets that this is an amazing time of her life. She wants it to be one of those places on the timeline future self wishes she could go back and visit because it was so full of warm memories.
What would your future self tell you to do for your spouse and family today?