FED Up With WED-Jumpers!

freefall

Being WED means that you are “united closely” or “adhere to DEVOTEDLY or STUBBORNLY.” Many days I am the recipient of wonderful stories of happily married people making sure they keep it that way, or a couple that hits hard times holding on until they find clearer skies together. Another intact family! Awesome!

But today in my inbox I’ve heard several stories of desperation and sadness when one half of a couple just decides to jump from the relationship, leaving the other hurt and horrified and wondering what to do. That just makes me mad. Mad that with all the studies and information and great resources out there like MARRIAGE MATTERS JACKSON someone still deludes themselves into thinking life will be better if they can just jump out of the plane and try to start over.

I’m not talking about situations where abuses like physical or substance abuse are destroying the family. I’m talking about the couples and families with the typical adversities that we all face and somehow they think theirs is more worthy of a fresh start.  To be wed is to be STUBBORN in your DEVOTION to the other person. It’s not easy, it’s not convenient, it’s not always pretty. But getting past those tough times is where you really see the beauty in being wed to someone else.  Without weathering the storm together you get all the pain without the benefit of the payout on the other side.

What really gets me cranky and fed-up is that most people don’t jump unless they have somewhere to land.  Those wed-jumpers have found themselves a claim-jumper.  Remember the old gold mining term claim-jumper? It’s when someone illegally occupies property to which another has a legal claim.  When a couple is legally married I consider someone willing to be in an extra-marital affair with one of those people to be a claim-jumper.  Claim-jumpers are trespassing and causing trouble where they have no business being in the first place. Spare me your romance novel versions of the story where the hen pecked wed-jumper finally escapes into the arms of his one true love the claim-jumper.  Gag.

Your personal temporary happiness is no justification for destroying a marriage (a legally binding union) and in turn, their entire family and circle of friends.  I can’t stand claim-jumpers but they’re typically pathetic and desperate characters who seem to have nothing to lose. Who I’m fed up with are the WED-jumpers. The other half of the wedded whole.  I’m hearing stories of intelligent, educated, adult men AND women flushing away DECADES of marriage and destroying the trust and hope of their adult children and grandchildren for some empty promise of self fulfillment.  Your self-fulfillment at the sacrifice of your family who you swear you would do anything and everything to protect?  Let’s stop romanticizing the notion.

I’m fed up with you wed-jumpers.  You’ve got no right. No right to walk away from your legal, familial, emotional, financial…responsibilities.  The best thing you can do is get back inside that plane, take off that parachute of other options, toss it out the open door, re-unite closely and devote yourself stubbornly to that person you married and have built a life with. You’ll thank yourself later, as will those who you were about to pull with you out of the plane who didn’t have a parachute. Don’t worry about that claim-jumper, they’ll slither on over to claim-jump someone else’s property pretty quickly. If they haven’t already.

Who in your life needs to hear this today? The best thing you can do to protect your family and friends is to speak truth into the heart of a wed-jumper who is about to make a tragic mistake.

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