Go Long! Long-Distance and Long-Term
Contributed by MMJ’s Intern, Lyndsay Murray
It’s hard to see your significant other when they are commuting an hour to work and working 60 hours a week. To make things even worse, they live an hour away from you. I know, I know, that’s not exact definition of a “long-distance relationship” but it feels like I rarely get to see or talk to Josh anymore. But don’t worry, I’m not too bitter. He got a job at Quicken Loans in Detroit and loves it. I completely supported him in this new transition of life, fully knowing it was going to mean less time with each other. Although the job is extremely demanding, it has been equally rewarding even thus far. Quicken Loans is the largest company in downtown Detroit, has been voted #1 in Workplace Dynamics National Top Workplace list, is voted #1 company to work for in Michigan, and has been ranked in the top 30 companies on FORTUNE Magazine for 11 years in a row. If you’ve ever seen the movie, “The Internship”, it looks surprisingly similar to the colorful and lively “Google” work environment.
As with any transition in life, there are good and bad parts to change. Now that my man is busy making a living, I have had to fill my extra time with other things. I have gotten to spend a whole lot more time with my roomies and I probably do my homework more thoroughly than before. The distance forces Josh and I to be more intentional and creative with our relationship. Allow me to help you imagine the spontaneity of the roller-coaster I like to call a “long-distance relationship.”
Josh and I had tried to talk the night before, but he was extremely tired and had basically fallen asleep while I was sharing my feelings with him. (I’m really not that boring, he just falls asleep extremely easily). Even still, I was feeling a little down. Usually he’s so tired at night that I rarely have a substantial conversation with him. On my way to Marriage Matters Jackson in the morning, I was still a little under the weather, not knowing the next time I would talk to him. When I got to work, I checked my e-mail out of habit, only to find an e-mail sent that morning titled “Good Morning Girlfriend.” I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Not only did he just let me know that he was thinking about me that morning, he sent it via E-MAIL. Clearly, he could have texted me those same words, but there was something extremely ironic, hilarious and ingenious about the fact that he e-mailed me instead. Just as I was spiraling downward, the roller-coaster twisted and turned all my fears and expectations upside-down.
To continue the analogy, there’s always going to be peaks and valleys in any relationship. These kinds of life-changes don’t mean that all the good parts of a relationship are going to suddenly crash and burn. However, it does mean that when we are farther apart from something or someone that is important to us, we need to invest more time elsewhere as well. Yes, I know there are only 24 hours in a day. It’s going to be difficult, and we have to work harder. But if getting a new job is worth the hard work, then how much more important is it to put that type of work ethic into our relationships?