World’s Okayest Mom
As you may remember, Nick and I are expecting our first baby who is due to make her arrival in August. Being the Type A planner that I am, I like to be as prepared as I can for situations, so April has been a busy baby month. In addition to attending classes through the hospital where we will deliver, we have also taken a tour of the labor and delivery floor of the hospital, have started our registry, and have begun preparing the nursery. I realize that we are still a good four months from baby arriving, but as I said, I like to be prepared. Add to that the countless hours I have spent reading child-rearing books, researching Consumer Safety Reports for the safest car seats and strollers, and trying to write our birth plan of whether I will try to deliver naturally and with or without drugs.
So, have all of this preparing, researching and reading made me feel like a more prepared parent? Sure! But to be totally honest, it has also left me freaked out. The thought of labor is terrifying me, I still haven’t decided on cloth diapers versus disposable diapers, and what if my child never sleeps through the night and I am destined to return to work a zombie day after day? On top of that, the most terrifying thought is: what if I’m not a perfect mom? Am I going to feel guilty if I can’t breastfeed and have to give formula bottles instead? Will my child grow up to be too spoiled? If I don’t play Mozart for her while she is still in the womb, will I lower her IQ?
Dozens and dozens of thoughts plague my mind every single day, and you know what? I don’t think I’m alone. I think almost every new mom (and probably even seasoned moms) go through feelings of inadequacy or worry that they will not be the perfect parent. In reality, I KNOW that I will NEVER be the perfect parent. It’s inevitable that I am going to mess up something. But what has also helped me so far is the support from other moms (such as the other five wives) who have been in my shoes. Hearing their stories (especially the humorous ones about not winning mother of the year) and being able to see how well their lovely children thrive and have grown is encouragement I need.
So while my Type A personality will probably never let me fully relax (I’m always worrying about something), I can find humor and take comfort in this fact: I don’t have to be a perfect parent; in fact, I can be the world’s okayest mom, and my children will likely grow up just fine.